This morning I had to write a very difficult e-mail: a response to a client who decided to let me go from her daughter’s Bat Mitzvah and proceed in a different direction after working together for the last 6 months. You might be wondering why am I sharing that I just got fired, but it’s because I need to face my biggest fears in life: the fear of failure, rejection & saying no.
Recently, I attended Making Things Happen with the amazing Lara, Emily & Gina. One of the things that resonated with me was the session on fear. “To name your fear is to destroy them.” I never realized how many fears I had that were holding me back from being the best me I could be.
When starting my company my biggest fear was failure. I took on almost every client. I dedicated 100% of my time to making my clients happy. I always answered the phone. I answered emails at 2am. I wanted to please EVERYONE. I was miserable. I didn’t realize that I needed to make changes until I attended Making Things Happen.
During the last month of “soul searching”, I realized I have accidentally lost communication with some of my clients (& even friends) and have let things slip through the cracks. In addition, many things happened in my personal life (including the passing of my grandfather last week) to completely change the way I look on life and my business. I am not the same person or company I was 6 months ago nor will I be the same person or company in 6 more months.
Currently, I am trying to figure out the direction I want to take and where I want to be. I know it’s not an excuse, but I understand why my client let me go. Before, I never would’ve let this happen and I would’ve been depressed for months taking it out all on myself thinking I was a failure. I understand now that I definitely took on more than I could chew and I wasn’t being honest with myself or my client about expectations. Although this experience has taught me a lesson in communication & expectations, I have also realized that things happen for a reason. Ironically, I just got a wedding inquiry for that same date. Whether or not that bride signs I know that maybe my destiny should be focusing on weddings and accepting clients that I want vs. just always saying yes.